The wait

"I am sorry that I pinged you."
That still echoes. Through my
heart and spirit. I hear it
during the day and louder through the night.
And I wait and wait some more.
Through happy times and now.
I said some things I am forbidden to.
And probably shall never be forgiven for.
Or understood for that matter.
But I wait and wait some more.
For that tender concern which was
never for me. The voice and eyes,
that could tell me everything I need to know.
That accidental brush of the toes.
The few minutes when the time stood still.
I wait and wait some more.
Listening to the stoic silence.
Looking at refracted images through teary eyes.
While the mind battles it out with the heart.
Searching for my purpose and presence.
And I wait and wait some more.